I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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