i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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