Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize