Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
