Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize