He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
