i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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