Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
