you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
and she was petting her beer can
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
