Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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