Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
