Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
