Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it glows. i had to have it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
