if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
