4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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