When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
