that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
