Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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