Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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