I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
