What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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