I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize