yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
