I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
