ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
