So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
