I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
