and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
