But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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