just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
