I wish my penis had an off switch
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
cat food counts as protein by the way
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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