My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Let's get the cat blown out
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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