Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize