question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
zippers are such a cool invention
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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