I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
