She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Randomize
