honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize