I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
