I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
