I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
