i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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