This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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