Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
