My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
