she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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