She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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