i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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