i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
