Are we in a gay sports bar?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
