I should be sponsored by Trojan
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
