Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
