bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
