she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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