I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize