Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
