what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize