So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
