i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
