I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
