So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize