Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Your cock deserves a montage
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
