Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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