Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
