Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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