im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
