i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
