All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
