im drinking this country out of the recession.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
